Tiny Bit of Crazy

A chronical of the laughter, revelations and transformations that are possible when you embrace the crazy

2012: How it Went Down February 2, 2013

Remember way back last year, when 2012 was all sparkly and new and seemed like it was gonna be a lot of fun, and my friend Tara (from Do These Kids Make Me Look Crazy) and I wrote New Year’s Resolutions for each other?  Then at the 6 month mark we both went through and did a progress report, and now, apparently, we have to actually be accountable for the rest of the year as well.

There’s talk of us doing this exercise again this year as well, but part of me thinks that maybe if I don’t remind her she’ll forget.

Except the whole telling HER what to do with her life part is super fun.

Maybe when she sees how badly I did with this year, she’ll let me off the hook and just let me do resolutions for her…

But if I do have new resolutions to do, now we only have 11 months left in 2013 so that’s going to be my excuse for anything I don’t accomplish this year.

Well, I’ve stalled long enough. Here they are. Don’t judge me too harshly…

Find and make a home. A real home. Whether it’s by yourself or with your man or with a cute little kitten named Rhett. Find a place you adore and want to stay in for a long time. A place that feels like yours. It has to hold all your important stuff, like your shoes and your books and your random photos. I’d really like to add a caveat about keeping it orderly and clean-ish, but I feel that might make your place less yours, which entirely defeats the purpose.

Here’s what I’ve decided on this: Home is not so much defined by the address that your bills go to, or the location of all those fancy shoes I never wear anymore anyway. Home is the place where I can let my guard down, where I feel most myself, and where I’m surrounded by people who love me. As such, I have several homes at the moment. That’s just how I roll. I’m calling this one completed.

Do not text and drive. Ever. As your mom says, you need to “concentrate”.

Totally on top of it. I exercise extreme self-control while the vehicle is in motion. If I’m going to die in a fiery car crash its going to be for a much less embarrassing reason than texting.

Continue to stay in touch with your body. Exercise, nourish, and strengthen it in the best way you know how. I want you to feel and be healthy for a very long time. It’s not impossible that we’ll be in the same nursing home someday and I want you to stay cute enough to rock a colostomy bag.

I have no idea how to rate myself on this one. In general, I feel like my body and I did not do well in 2012. I’d like to spend less time thinking about my body in 2013, which isn’t to say I’m going to go all “People of Wal-mart”, I plan to get my money’s worth out of my gym membership, but I’m hoping to spend a lot less time thinking and talking about my body in 2013.

Decorate your own Christmas tree. Like a real one, where you go and pick out at least 75% of the decorations and put a lopsided star on top. May I suggest candy canes as decoration?

I feel like this is part of the first one about having a home, and while I did help Chris decorate his Christmas tree this year, we just used all the same decorations as he’s used the last few years. But I don’t really mind. I find shopping for things like Christmas decorations to be somewhat overwhelming and Chris’s tree looked really nice. So this is a big fat failure but I’m kind of OK with that.

Get moving on this book we’re supposed to be writing. I look to you to be the leader on this project. Lead by writing, as I’m greatly influenced by peer pressure.

Well, while you’re off writing a book that has nothing to do with the book we were supposed to write together, I’ve been setting up a publishing company andpublishing other people’s books. And some of my writing is making its way into some books – first in the book Sucker for Love, and I’ve also been asked to contribute to another writer’s anthology but I have no idea when that’s going to be published.  So we are both producing books in one form or another, now we just need to do it together.  So, in other words, keep this on the list.

Keep your standards high when it comes to your romantic partnership. I know this whole “grown-up relationship” thing is kind of new to you, but I really think you’re getting the hang of it. I would like to shake you really hard to ensure that you learn from all of my mistakes, but I think this long, drawn-out, whiny way that I communicate about my failed relationship seems pretty effective. 

Nailed it. I’ve gotten so good at this grown up relationship thing, it’s not even funny. Mostly because Chris makes it so easy. But it still counts.

On a somewhat related note; don’t be afraid that you’re going to screw up this whole love story that you and Chris have going on. You’re not. If it gets screwed up, both of you will be able to take a bow. So just . . . be present in your relationship. Recognize where you are emotionally. And please, don’t be afraid to plan ahead for the life you want to have together.

Nailed this one too. Maybe it’s because I’ve spent so much of the last year obsessing about my physical issues that I didn’t have time to obsess about my relationship, but sometimes I go whole weeks without worrying that we’re going to break up. That’s called progress, baby.

Keep storytelling. It’s a gift you have and it should be shared. Most importantly, make sure to post it on youtube. If I can’t be there, then I need to be able to access it later.

I haven’t had the bug for getting up on stage lately, not sure why, but as a result I have only the one story to show from 2012. However, I’m still well ensconced in the storytelling world. And I’ll always tell stories – just not always on a stage. Or in front of a camera.

Consider getting a kitten. Like, one you’ve picked out yourself and named after some random fictional character or a TV star from an 80s sitcom.

As I said at the 6 month check in. I would LOVE to get a kitten. But now is not the time. You know the whole “many homes” thing from the first item? Well a kitten would totally slow my roll.

Self-host your blog. Get legit, girl.

Meh. I love this blog, and I wish I had more time to write on it, but one thing I’ve learned over the last year, is that for now at least, it’s always going to be at the low-end of my priority list because it exists purely for my own indulgence. If I were part of a niche, (like mommy blogging), or even if I was still a young and crazy single girl writing about my wild dating exploits, I might be able to leverage the blog to some personal or financial advantage. But as is…its just a creative writing outlet, which I TOTALLY NEED TO DO MORE OF. But paying for hosting isn’t going to make me do that. Becoming independently wealthy and having much more free time will though, so put that on the list for 2013.

Tap into your insight when it comes to your own emotions. Listen to yourself. Listen for that little tingly noise that sounds when your comfort level has been surpassed. Once you hear it, do something about it. Talk to someone, write it out, sing in the car in your loudest voice. Just don’t stuff it down until it erupts in a flood of tears and incoherence. You’ve got a bunch of people who’ve got your back but we’re only useful when you communicate, even if it’s initially in a series of bumps and false starts.

I’m getting better at this. Chris and I totally had a serious conversation that didn’t involve any crying, and then one where I only cried for a few minutes before I was able to speak. I’ll keep working on it though.

 Leave the country at least once in the year 2012. You’re the type of person who may very well get old and become a homebody who doesn’t drive and eats ¼ cup of raisins for breakfast every morning. You need to travel while you’re still spry and can figure out how to use a bidet and tolerate people with weird accents.

This didn’t happen, due to health and financial reasons. But I did get right up against the border with Canada and looked over it and pointed at Canadian people, so I get half a point for that.

Make a three-year plan for your career. Map out something long-term and realistic, but challenging. It could be writing a novel. Officially becoming a freelancer. Searching the want ads until you find something that you’ll really love. I can’t pretend to guess what would be the absolutely perfect job for you, but I want you to focus on figuring it out. You are so talented and I would like you to be emotionally and financially satisfied by the work you do.

Done, and thy name is Possibilities Publishing Company.

Attend BlogHer’12 with me. I promise you, you will be inspired.

Not my fault. But I still like the idea…but maybe instead of traveling somewhere together and having to pay for a hotel AND conference registration fees we could just have a girls weekend away somewhere fun?

Challenge yourself physically at least once this year. Like, run a 5K. Swim across a small lake by yourself. Go camping without the benefit of an electrical hookup. Something outside of your comfort zone that requires the use of your body.

I totally did this!! I road a bike (for the first time in like 15 years) 18 miles down a mountain. I may have ridden the breaks for the first 5 miles, but after that I totally rode at a normal speed. For me, a normal speed for me, which is to say slowly. But I went over a few little jumps and totally felt like a badass several times. Not the times when then 9-year-old passed me, but plenty of other times.

Acknowledge the fact that you are not some sort of grouchy curmudgeon who believes the worst in people. Yes, you had Drew pegged long before I did. Yes, you are better than me at ejecting people from your life who are toxic. But at the end of the day, you are this loving, positive force to the people around you. Own it. Own it enough to direct it toward yourself.

First of all, 90% of people suck 90% of the time. That’s just science. So me being a grouchy curmudgeon is a normal response to life.  Also, I feel that my cynicism is a necessary balance to your endless amounts of faith in humanity (notice I didn’t call it naiveté? You’re welcome.)  You need my darkness, girl.

And lastly, I’m going to save the best for last,and quote your very words back to you. They’re brilliant. Never waste a second of your time or energy on anyone who doesn’t immediately find you hilarious, brilliant, talented, loving and perfect just the way you are.

This is just something that everyone should always do, so we should keep it on our lists forever.

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